Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Meina Main (That's My German for My Man)

Jaren and I have a joke. It actually is more a joke on me; I try to speak German to him. (He speaks fluently.) He has picked up a lot of Spanish at work so he can carry on a conversation with me in my second language, but my skills, on the other hand, are some what lacking in the German arena. I try, but the sentence usually ends up sounding like this, "Meina Kleina, Deina, Froleina, Ich Liebe Dieche, Kinder Egg, Frankferter, Meina, Uber Bruder." He usually gives me some sort of look like, "Stop. Just stop slaughtering the Mother Land's language." It is funny though to see what I can come up with each time I try to be tri-lengual.

I am hopelessly in love with meina main.

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I had a visit from a college roommate this past weekend. Michelle and her husband were in town from Alaska; we got together for some lunch and a great chat about, "the old days". Michelle and I lived together spring term of 1996. That was one of the best springs of my life. I loved everything about it: my classes were mellow, my roommates were fun, and my heart fell deeply in love. I have plans to write a novel someday. I don't want to share too much of its plot but there will be a chapter based on spring of 1996; it will be the lengthiest chapter in my book.

Fall semester of 1996 brought bitter cold to Utah valley and the severest, stinging heartache I ever experienced.

Michelle and I reminisced about that heartache at lunch on Sunday. Of course we played, "Where is..." and "Have you heard or seen..." "What about...How is..." It brought back so many memories, thoughts, and feelings.

I think often about the idea of choices and how in a split second they can change the path of your life. I also ponder where my life would have been had I made a decision to do something else, be someone else, or marry someone else. I am fascinated and terrified sometimes at the thought of where my life would have been and how different it would have played out had I done things differently. I get sick at the thought of not having Gunnar because I had married someone else, but then I think, "but you wouldn't have known Gunnar and would love the kids you had as much as you love Gunnar"...and then I get all weirded out in my own head.

I don't believe in fate or chance. I believe in a plan with pieces that sometimes fall perfectly into place.

I love this man. He has never broken my heart, in fact he holds it tenderly in his hands.

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I am glad I experienced Fall 1996's heartbreak; it taught me what love feels like, and because of that I was able to recognize it when I fell in love with Jaren.

When J and I started dating I came over to his apartment one night. His brother Scott was over and they were playing guitars on the couch when I walked in. Jaren was wearing jeans, and an old t-shirt; no socks on his feet. That has always been my favorite look for him.

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Something else that I love about him, about us, is that we laugh a lot. He is sharp and witty. He is really smart too, sometimes it is a bit intimidating, but his brain is always good to have in my back pocket. I love his laugh, and how he makes me laugh.

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I had a person asked me once if I could see Jaren's soul when I looked in his eyes. I thought that person was crazy...He does have stunning eyes though. I hope our next baby gets them.

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He is charming, chivalrous, understanding and perfect for me. Fall's heartache didn't choose me, but Jaren did. I am glad I was his decision; I am glad he is the biggest piece in my life's puzzle.
I love you J- Kam

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9 comments:

Sheryl said...

I too am with the love of my life. There is nothing like a knight in shining armor whose heart beats resonantly just for you and yours. Just so you know, after nigh on 30 years, it only gets better, deeper, and eternity is more delicious a reality than ever!

Paige said...

Aw, I remember that summer!! I'm so glad it had such a happy ending. We think your husband is fantastic and he is your perfect compliment. :) And you're right, he does have GREAT eyes!! With Gunnars eye's being so blue I assumed that Js eyes were blue, too. :)

The Cardenas Clan said...

I love the pics!!

~love said...

beautiful. well, the words..not him. not that he's not beautiful...but i'd obviously go with something much more masculine than that. yes, i'm choosing to ramble instead of delete this comment. forgive me, i haven't slept in a l.o.n.g time. =)

what i wanted to say was: what a wonderful tribute to your man. =)

The Ritchie Family said...

Kamee --

What a beautiful tribute to your husband & your love for eachother. Gunnar is one lucky little guy to have such loving people for his parents! First thing that came to my mind when I saw Jaren's pic was how much Gunnar looks like him -- actually, such a nice combo of both of you really! Best of luck with your soon-to-be #2 cutie!!! Janell's friend in Tucson, Coreen Ritchie
P.S. Just LOVE your blogs!!!

Jennifer P. said...

What a touching tribute. Funny how life works out just like it's suppose to, even when it's now just like we want, huh?

And as someone else fluent in German, I beg you to stop slaughtering the language too :)!

May your heart always be cared for.

Joy said...

You are so good with words. Can I just cut and paste it and tell scott I wrote that about him?(:

D Baker Photography said...

I love the next to last one. Great DOF. The last one looks a bit like he's sulking. Didn't get the new star wars toy. :) Sweet story. Your blessed.

Rebecca said...

Kam, that's a great post. What a sweet tribute to Jaren. He looks so much like Gunnar, wow. Great foot picture. I wish all feet would photo that nice:)