Seriously. A Wacky Shout-Out from 1955.

I am sure you have all read this or a version of it somewhere. I know of a friend who has it, jokingly, hanging on her wall in her kitchen.

Jaren sent me this email a while ago.

"I heard a radio station reading this article this morning on my way to work. I thought the women could benefit from reading this and I thought the men would get a kick out of seeing how poorly we are being treated these days.
Love,
Jaren (Master of his house)"

For those of you who have never met him, he was joking. Don't get all worked up thinking I married a total jerk who has no respect for women, me imparticular. Besides, May of 2009 (that's when grad school ends) I will be the MASTER in the house.

This article was actually found in the May 13th 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly entitled A Good Wife





1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Whatever. These days Jaren is either picking up take-out or making dinner for us when he gets home.



2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

I am a work-weary person. He leaves them and comes home to one. 15 minutes to rest? Anyone else laughing out loud? Freshen-up? Jaren is lucky if I shower.



3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Is complaining about how sick I feel, how Gunnar didn't listen all day, how my computer crashed on me three times during the day, how I want new furniture, a new camera, and some grass being "a little gay"?



4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Why clear it away when it is just going to reappear 10 seconds later?



5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

If I run a dustcloth over the tables what will we write our names in or where will Gunnar practice writing his ABCs?



6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by.Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Yes. Catering to his comfort...If I tried to light a fire I would probably burn down the house and then no one would be comfortable.



7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Encourage the children to be quiet. That is hysterical. Gunnar is usually playing in the mud or watching a noisey episode of Scooby Doo when Jaren gets home. I usually don't wash his face until he is in the bath or shower. Never before Jaren gets home. Sorry, Dude.



8. Be happy to see him.

This, I am always.



9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

I do this too, most days.



10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

His topics of conversation are more important than mine? What the sub-contractors did at work over Gunnar's growth and progression. Really? Good to know.



11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

What other places of entertainment are you going to Jaren? Huh? Unfortunately, when J gets home there is more strain and pressure to get things done around our house. (We have 6 months to get things really settled before the baby.) In fact, work is probably more of a reprieve for him.



12. Your goal: try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

I do try to make it a good place to be. Renewal of body and spirit? Ummm...maybe not right now. There is just too much to do. In fact I can't wait until our house projects are done so we can have a normal night/weekend as a family.



13. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

See response to 3.



14. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

I only complain when he is bringing dinner with him and he is late and we are starving. "Minor compared to what he might have gone through"...seriously?



15. Make him comfortable. Make him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Drinks are in the fridge. He knows where the glasses are too. There is no time to get comfortable. We have work to do.



16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

He goes to bed before me. His pillow is right where he left it. Why arrange something he is happy with? ;)



17. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

This is just wrong. Way wrong. I feel like a huge feminist right now.



18. A good wife always knows her place.

Yep. At Nordstrom.

Anyone else failing miserably at these expectations? I would have been a terrible wife in 1955, but I think I would have really enjoyed the malt shops, fashion, enchantment under the sea dances, and the music of the time.

Hope this made you smile and laugh like it did me. Have a happy day doing all the things you do to make your homes run smoothly, to make your kids happy, and to make your husbands "comfortable". xoxo Kam

A Month Early?

A long time ago. No wait. A really, really, ultra, super long time ago in a land far, far away when I had free hours on my hands, I used to watch a show called A Baby Story on TLC. It came on right after A Wedding Story, which I watched as well. Both made me cry. One scared me a bit, because I hadn't had the experience of birthing a child, but still made me weepy in the end. Myself, and about 10 other people I know, are currently living a baby story.

Thursday, I had the opportunity to shoot one.

This Mommy and Papa (Ray is German and it is tradition to call your dad Papa. I thought that was neat.),




and this little sis, Natalie,



are having a new baby.



Everyone is excited.



especially, Natty. She gives her sister plenty of hugs and kisses. I think that is so sweet, and the thought of two sisters playing dress-ups, dollys, having tea parties, and telling secrets is so idyllic.

I'll tell you what's idyllic. This little girl.



Natatlie will keep her sis busy for sure.



She is obviously attached to her Mommy, but



Papa made her smile uncontrollably when he came home from work and popped in to say "hello". She had so much to tell him about the day. Their conversation was darling.



In between outfit changes JuliAnna made a comment about how she isn't just getting pregnant in her belly region. I had to laugh inside my head. When I get pregnant my feet, toes, even my nose gets pregnant. I know we all feel differently about ourselves when we are pregnant, but I think JuliAnna looks so amazingly SEXY and beautiful, as all women should feel when they are expecting.





Natty, JuliAnna, and Ray live close to the water. I am sure Anika will be a beach baby too; that's lucky. They go often enough for her to already be acustom to the sound of the waves.







JuliAnna, Ray, and Natalie-

May Anika add more spunk,



more joy, more bliss,



and more love to your already sincerely kind and genuine family.



Natalie came a month early; lets hope Anika doesn't. ;) Thanks so much for the opportunity to learn more about you; I had a nice afternoon. I am excited for your family and can't wait to meet the new addition once she arrives. Good luck and take the next four weeks easy. ;)

Pairs

She



already



has 3.

Like mother, like daughter.


Hello little girl.

Jaren- I promise to be prudent in compiling her winter, spring, summer, and fall wardrobes.

Bec and Jeb- I would like to set a date to plan an arranged marriage between your Owen and our unborn daughter. Shall we meet May 14th to devise an understanding? She will wed Owen with a significant dowry if I don't spend it all on her apparel.

Gunnar was right all along. He is going to be a big brother to a sister, who he would like to name Big Boy. We haven't completely thrown it out yet; Big Boy is still on the table as a possible name for our daughter. ;)

We are looking forward to adding a pink addition to our line-up.

I am laughing out loud...hard

I have a girlfriend named Olivia. I love her so much; she is one of my favorite holidays. She lives in NYC and is a novelist. She teaches and writes, is smart, and makes me laugh so hard.

If you need a jump start to your day read this.

I am in LOVE with this post right now and feel so connected to her thoughts. This is why I think she is such a good writer, she gets people and understands all of us on a very tender level.

Thanks Livs. Can't wait for 4 days of stand-up we are going to have in Mayo. YOU ARE COMING TO SO CAL SOON! It is waiting for you...

A Non-Bridal Bridal Setting

Ever wonder why the guys don't have a Groomal Setting?

Why does the bride get all the attention?



Because. That is the way it is. The way it has always been. And the way it will always be. The groom matters and is a key detail, but the wedding is all about the bride.

Meet the Bride.



Jennie is getting married in less than two months to a groom who is very deserving of a Groomal Setting, but unfortunately, that is just not heard of. So, this is all about Jennie, the blushing, darling, and wonderfully sweet bride.

My friend Maren gave me a great idea for this session. Jennie was game and this is what unfolded.



To save the dress from any irreplacable damage we decided to hold off on a shoot with the gown until after the big day. We opted for something a little more urban chic.



She was getting way too much attention by this wall. In fact a few individuals wanted to "pose" in the picture with her. I snapped away with lightening fingers, we jumped into the car, locked the doors, and sped away. Interesting part of town.

I do love this wall though.



And I loved these flowers (in the background) and thought they were so perfect for a June bride.



I loved every picture we took by this yellow wall. It is the perfect symbol of how happy Jennie is. She truly is bright, cheerful, energetic, and fun.







She was even willing to pose with a few shopping carts.



It looks like she is falling out of the frame, but I still really liked her expression here.



She wasn't sure if she wanted a veil for her ceremony. She just recently decided to purchase one. I am glad. I think that is one of the sweetest moments of the ceremony when the father or care-giver to the bride kisses her cheek and sends her on to a new part of her life with a new person to look after her. So sweet.


Jennie-
May you enjoy the last few months of anxious planning. May your showers be filled with abundance and generous friends. May you find something borrowed and blue. May your bachelorette be something you remember; seriously. May you always be up for any type of adventure (like this one) because that is what marriage will offer you.

Thanks so much for the fun opportunity and for all the love you and Pat show our family. We are so thrilled for you and the chance we have to share this day with you. Can't wait for June 14th!!

"Here comes the bride all dressed in white"...see she even has a song about her. Who sings, "Here comes the Groom all dressed in a tux"??? It just doesn't work, because it is all about...