Wednesday, October 29, 2008

SHHHHHHHHUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH

if i make that sound louder than she is crying, she usually stops.
my girl cries. A LOT.
i ordered a peaceful baby. my next one, if there is a next one, will be purchased from nordstrom; you can return anything there.
the following are rare moments when she was peaceful for 1 of the 24 hours in the day. ;)
she is quiet when i bathe her. i really enjoy tub time. sometimes she bathes two times a day just because she is so calm.
i was reading an article for grad school (yes, i am going this semester, and yes, i am almost done. ;)) about how schools are similar to prisions and other correctional facilities. it was super interesting actually. even before they hit school they spend some time behind bars.
due to the acid reflux she has to sleep a bit elevated. she is either in the swing or a chair that vibrates. the only bust with the chair is that it is on a timer. she knows when the 15 minutes are up and starts to cry. the second i turn it back on she quiets down. she currently owns my life; she is the boss of me.
sleep is a dream. i watch the night turn to day and the day turn to night. it is tricky right now to be up with the moon and dead tired with the sunshine. i can't remember what i did yesterday or what is expected of me tomorrow; i ache for normalcy. but when she recognizes my voice or calms for two minutes when i tell her i love her i remind myself that this time is short, and soon, she will go to bed at a proper bedtime, sleep peacefully through the night, and be up in the morning, happy and smiling, ready to spend a day with me and big brother.
larkin and gunnar,
you are a blessing in my life; i love you both very much.

14 comments:

From Russia With Love said...

Sweet, sweet sentiments! Love the pictures! She is so beautiful! I long to hold her -- but, by the time that's possible she will be playing, laughing, and talking.
I feel for you, and for Larkin. This time will pass, and she will eventually outgrow her tummyache, or whatever it is that makes her cry. Happy days will come again -- I promise. Love you, Mom Nuzman

Liz said...

Oh, Kamee... I am so sorry it's been such a struggle for Larkin to adjust to life in this world! How lucky she is to have you as her mother. Hang in there! You amaze me!

Reb and Jeb said...

Kam...I wish I could come to Cali and take the kiddos for a while, hold something that wears pink and doesn't smell like dirt, and let you rest. I'm sorry this is an endlessly long and exhausting time. You can ground her starting now. Jack got grounded yesterday for having 10 (count em') messy diapers. I think it's an effective form of discipline...

rachel said...

I can totally relate. My oldest screamed from about 12 hours old until she was 4 months? Or was it 5? She was a MOST DIFFICULT baby, which makes life really tough for the mom. My daughter is 9 now, and still very strong-willed and determined. (Attributes that are not great when they are infants, they can outlast the mom) but she is delightful and knows what she wants and goes after it with a passion, qualities that will serve her VERY WELL as she becomes an adult. Hang in there. Girls are tough. I have 2 girls and 2 boys and find that the girls are almost always more challenging in every aspect. But they are also amazing, exciting, loving and it is so fun to watch them grow up in a world where they really can be anything they want to be.

rachel
langanland.blogspot.com

~love said...

chloe was a high maintanence baby, too. but, if i held her a certain way, had a rhythmic bounce, and a loud SHHHHHHUSSSSSHHHH....we were all good. that time was so much work, but i tried to embrace it with everything in me.
glad that you are, too. your babies are so, so cute! hang in there, kam....and keep enjoying!!

Kim (Davis) Loudon said...

OH, KAM! My first two were the worst kind of colic you could imagine...with a extra helping of acid reflux. I FEEL for you! I remember hooking a freaking blow dryer up to Drei's crib because for my own sanity, I could not SHUSH her any longer. For her own safety and mine.... I HAD to lie her down, CLOSE the door, and be as far away from the noise as I could for at least a few minutes. It's HORRIBLE! I remember days where I cried longer and louder than she did.\"/
I hear you have your mom for a few more weeks. Is that true? I hope so, because nothing throws you in to deep baby blues like 0 sleep at night and screaming baby all day AND night. Not sure when I will FINALLY end up in the hospital, but I would love to come take her for a NICE LONG walk so you can get some sanity sleep, or time with Gunner. Let me know!

hansenfive said...

There is a light at the end...I think I told you before, Nash cried and cried. I didn't sleep for six months. I was very frustrated...especially since Paige was all i had to compare. But, he got better. He now sleeps better than Paige. He's a perfect napper, and i have no problem putting him down at bed time. I hope you can get a little shut eye.

summerzfamily said...

i am thinking of you girl----
she is a doll in the pictures--- looks a
lot like gunnar :)
i need to get your # from tiff-- I have a funny story to tell you-- it will make you smile :)
xoxoxo
love, (my password)pj

Danielle said...

Oh how I remember those days well. My first and fourth would cry constantly. I remember laying them down and leaving the room and just thinking "how am I suppose to do this and stay happy and calm". Those two "cry babies" have grown up to have such wonderful independent personalilies with opinions. Hang in there! Larkin is lucky to have such a wonderful mother :o)!

Kelley said...

Kamee--sounds like you're doing a great job. I know it's a little rough, but you're right--it WILL pass, and you will survive.

Kelley said...

Kamee--sounds like you're doing a great job. I know it's a little rough, but you're right--it WILL pass, and you will survive.

*Jess* said...

Oh no! Reflux is just horrible. My son Jayce had it as a baby as well, which made nursing and sleeping very un-enjoyable experiences. He finally started to do better at 5 months when we switched to prevacid. I hope the light at the end of the tunnel comes soon for you :) Thinking of you guys!

Tonya said...

oh those first weeks...months....they are tough...

I loved getting a peek at her at church in her sweet little blessing threads...she is beautiful!

Hope she is over her rough little stage...must be hard for you both....

xoxo

Tonya

The Jacksons said...

Hello there!
I saw your post about your daughter having reflux- both my kiddos were/are victims as well- I am so sorry. We bought this pillow/wedge for my son and we are now using it for my daughter. She is 3 months now and has a cold and it is helping with that as well: http://www.showeryourbaby.com/baacrepibyar.html (I think it's called the AR pillow). Hope this helps- sounds like your little doll is hurting.
By the way- I love your photography and I've been hoping one day I can get a photo session with you- I saw your photos of little Brooks (friend of a relative)...