To My Babies

You are the brightest colors on my palette. I love the vibrancy you splash on each day of my life.

Now, let me have a nap today, alright? ;)

xoxo Queen Mommy

May You Always Feel What You Might Not Hear

Sometimes I want to find Gunnar's batteries and pop them out. The boy moves constantly. He is motion and energy, personified. Sometimes my head spins with his questions and boy noise. I will take all the repetitive din however for the quieter moments when he is still and we are snuggled in his bed at night discussing his 4-year-old philosophies on life. I love to hear his anti-climatic stories that always make me laugh due to their ridiculous nature. I love his childish banter and innocent reflections on the day's occurances. I love to hear him say, "Mom, what do you want to talk about?" AND I would endure days of interminable boy sounds for the three words I never tire of hearing, "I Love You!"

My heart aches when I consider parents who never have that tender moment with their children.

I have a friend named Josie.

We met at a party and I knew immediately I was going to really, really like her; I have been interested in her and her story since that evening. When Laurie, her mom, contacted me for a session, I couldn't stop smiling. I was so enthused to be able to see her again and spend a little bit of time with her great family. I feel honored when any family chooses me to immortalize their moments through portraiture, but I felt especially humbled to be able to formally photograph Josie, her new sister, Jocelyn, and her parents Laurie and Eric.

Josie has Rett Syndrome, a childhood neurodevelopmental disorder that is characterized by normal early developments but then is followed by distinctive hand movements, slowed brain and head growth, gait abnormalities, seizures, and mental retardation. It affects females almost exclusively. 

As the syndrome progresses, the child loses purposeful use of her hands and the ability to speak. I want to know what Larkin is thinking all the time. I look forward to the day she will finally be able to tell me. Laurie and Eric, Josie's parents, look forward to the day too. Hopefully there will be a break-through with studies, and her voice and thoughts will come soon. They have found ways however of understanding her cues, sounds, and facial expressions, and like any mother Laurie, knows her daughter. They are indescribably connected to one another.

I think if she had the words she would be really funny. There were so many moments when she got so excited about something; her eyes lit up, her hands shook; I chuckled because I could tell she was trying to say something that would make us all smile and laugh with her. 

Eric has a very special relationship with her; she was all smiles for him.

Jojo (as her Daddy calls her), has got personality alright! At one point she decided she needed a rest. So she laid down on the concrete, and I decided to lie down with her and rest a bit too.

 

I think she is beautiful:

Josie has a little sis named Jocelyn. (Josephine and Jocelyn. I loved that!)  It was sweet to see the two of them interacting together, like regular siblings do. I really liked the interaction with them here:

 

I wanted to squeeze Jocelyn. She reminds me of another baby I know! I love squishy babies!!

She didn't want to be too far from her mom, but I couldn't help holding her for a second. That's about all I got: one second. She made me want to run home and hold my squishy baby! ;)

Their dynamic as they grow will be interesting, but I am sure they will always know the other is someone special in her life.

I loved the colors in these family shots. So earthy, natural, and comfortable. A true reflection of this family.

Loved the light and angle in this one:

and the color in this one:

I am fascinated by Laurie and her capabilities. Before Josie's diagnosis Laurie was a school teacher. Once they discovered how extensive her care would be she decided to leave the classroom to be home with her baby. Each day, Laurie's life is filled with labors of love for her children. Being a parent of any child is tasking; I am sure that being a parent of a child with special needs is even more daunting, especially when the rewards aren't as frequent. I was so interested in Laurie and the endurance she musters each day to tend to the needs of her little ladies.

Laurie deserves much praise and attention for the selfless sacrifices she offers on behalf of her girls. I would love for her to see herself as I do: as a strong, brave, understanding, compassionate, and tender woman. 

Loved the framing:

Someone needs to write an article on this mother, on all the mothers with children with disabilities, revering them for all the efforts they make on a daily basis. I want to write that article. Mostly because that would require talking to Laurie more, and I would really enjoy asking her more questions and learning more about how she handles the daily requirements while still remaining so positive and energetic.

I love the way the wind caught her hair:

and I loved this expression:

Eric is a good man. He mentioned to me several times how he does the best he can to get home early to help take care of the girls and to offer a hand to Laurie.

He told me pictures aren't his thing, but I am so glad he humored me:

One of the two of them together. Eric has a way of making all his girls smile:

Josie, Jocelyn, Laurie, and Eric,

Thank you for the time together; it was so nice seeing you again. Thank you for choosing me and for humoring my many questions. May the closeness you are required to have always feel like a blessing to your family. May the moments of silence be filled with powerful sentiments and emotions that only whisper to the heart. May you always feel that which you might not ever hear, that she loves you so very, very much!! May you always love being together and may you know that others admire your courage and bravery!!

Thanks again so much for touching my heart, Kam

p.s. Laurie, Happy Mother's Day! You deserve a great one! May it be filled with smiles and love and maybe even a nap!! ;)

It's Done.

 I finished grad school. It is over. I am done!

HOOOORRRAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY! YIPPPPEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!! 

I am so happy right now I can hardly contain myself!! My graduate work is complete; I am a Master of Education!!!!

The weight of a 300 pd gorilla and all 18 of her babies is completely off my back. I am breathing so much easier now!!

I am not the only one who earned this degree. I had a few others in tow:

My family has made several sacrifices during this time to help me through. I couldn't have done it without their patience, support, encouragement, and undying love. (Jaren, didn't want a picture with the cap; party pooper. But he earned it too!!) 

I am so grateful to my mom once again for taking 3.5 months away from her life to help me through the semester I had Larkin (Thanks to Dad too for sharing her.), and to all of my girlfriends (Vickie and Joanna especially) who watched Gunnar so willingly and thoughtfully on countless occasions so I could get to class on time. I am especially thankful for Jaren who believed in me for every paper, project, and assignment; he always reminded me that I was smart and that I could do it. I also appreciate how willing he was with the kids, to take them and then shut the door and keep them out so I could research, write, or read in quiet. I am grateful for my brilliant sister who kept such good tabs on me the whole time and would send me any article or idea I needed two seconds after I asked for it; she is a genius, and I love her. I am thankful for the support of another sister, Kim, who has been going through this exact experience the same time as I have. It has been nice to have someone who understood my feelings perfectly and could relate wholeheartedly. (One more week for you Kim! ENDURE!!) Thank you to everyone who believed in me and encouraged me to work towards this goal.

Several of my friends have asked why I was getting it. I am not currently teaching. What's the point if it isn't going to help me with a pay raise? Good question and sometimes I had to ask myself the same thing. A masters degree was always something I wanted to earn. When I finished my under grad I knew I wasn't going to be done there. I wanted this because I love academia, I really enjoy learning new things and writing about them. I like feeling smart. ;) I also wanted to do it as an example for my kids: you can do anything, no matter how daunting it might appear, if you really try. As cliche as it sounds, it's true! I know they won't remember much of this time, but I do hope someday it inspires them to seek education, have inquisitive minds, and become lost in books. I hope they always find joy in learning something new; I do believe educated people have every advantage in this world.

There is one more step before I completely close out this chapter in my life:

What's next? My friend Deanne and I always joke about how this time next year I will be working on a PHd. NO WAY!! I am done for a long long time. I am content with this. ;) I do have big plans for my photography business! Keep your eyes on kamee june photography...there are going to be some really cool things happening in the next month!! I am so excited about all of that I can hardly contain myself!! I am going to put all of my energies into that business now instead of spreading them between grad school and the biz. I also plan to play a little longer on the carpet with my children and read them extra books instead of rushing off to hit mine; I am going to talk a little more and listen more carefully to Jaren (instead of allowing myself to be writing the paper in my head while we talked); I am going to exercise a lot (I think that will be my new grad school. ;)); I am going to read books and magazines that have nothing to do with curriculum development or educational theory; I am going to breath a little deeper, and enjoy more free time.

Right now I am smiling because it's done, and because I DID IT!! (Oh, and I am smiling because I am graduating with honors!! I earned a 4.0 all 5 semesters! How that happened I have no idea, but GGGOOOOOOOOO KKKKKKKAMMMMMMMM!!!)